#1 - The Boys Take Put-In-Bay
Bachelor party shenanigans, McDonald’s hash browns, dodgeball, and more.
Travel
The trip: a recollection of my buddy’s bachelor party in Catawba and Put-In-Bay, Ohio. (Yes, Ohio is real.)
Day 1 - Catawba Island
After work, I drove out to the family lake house of one our friends. Some noteworthy things.
As noted by many on the group chat, his “house” is actually a mansion.
Someone kicked a soccer ball into Lake Erie. Since it was Ryan’s bachelor weekend, naturally, he was the one to hunt it down.
Day 2 (Part 1) - Beer Olympics
The average bachelor party consists of a large group of guys getting together to compete in a beer Olympics. This Bach party was like most bachelor parties.
The brother of the groom-to-be, Pat, planned an elaborate 30-man beer Olympics. Being a PhD candidate in Statistics at Ohio State, only he could’ve pulled off such a feat.
After starting the day with enough McDonald’s hash browns to sustain a family of Irishman through the potato famine, the opening ceremony began promptly at 10am with the pledge of allegiance.
Once the pledge of allegiance was complete, the games began. 4 teams competing for 1st place. Last place had to swear a sash that says “I’m a loser”. The stakes couldn’t be higher.
We played 30-man knockout:
8 vs 8 dodgeball:
And Mario Kart Double Dash:
Pat, the highest IQ person in the house mansion by a country mile, kept a tally of score. He used a shady formula that should’ve been scrutinized more heavily.
With dodgeball being the final event, we closed the day with a few rounds of 16 v 16 dodgeball reminiscent of big team battles on Halo: Reach.
By the time we finished all the games it was about 5pm. Time to pack and commence phase 2 of the bachelor weekend: survive a ferry ride to Put-In-Bay island.
Day 2 (Part 2) - Put-In-Bay
We boarded the ferry just in time for the hangovers from our Buche Latte with breakfast to kick in.
Shortly upon arrival, the winners were crowned. Notably, Trevor, the cousin of the groom-to-be, known by friends and foes alike as the Caitlin Clark of dodgeball, won the MVP award. He displayed courage by single-handedly clinching their championship berth earlier in the day.
As for my team, we lost, so we had to don “I’m a loser” sashes for the rest of the night.
The rest is a haze, but these are the facts that I’m aware of:
I ate a BBQ chicken sandwich with fries.
We got drinks at the longest bar in America.
I left the bar to get a sweatshirt and pretzel sticks. Then came back.
I got a cheese pizza with my buddy Brendan. We finished it during the walk home.
I ate more pretzel sticks at the hotel.
Day 3 - Hangover
I had to head back a day early to attend my wife’s graduation from Pharmacy School at Ohio State. That entailed:
Pulling myself out of bed at 6am.
Crushing two coffees from the hotel lobby.
Talking Ohio State football with a chill shuttle driver.
Ferry back to shore.
3 hour car ride back to Columbus.
Smile and wave for graduation.
Recap
While I was gone, Jon somehow procured a plastic squirrel statue. Absolutely nuts.
All in, the trip was a movie. Would recommend sending a trip to Put-In-Bay with the boys.
—Grant Varner