Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
What Roger Federer taught Dartmouth’s 2024 graduating class about failure.
Federer’s Commencement Speech
In 2024, Roger Federer, the pro tennis player, stepped up to the microphone to deliver a commencement speech to the Dartmouth University class of 2024.1
Now retired, he spoke of the lessons he learned from playing tennis in his hay day, like moving forward when he lost a point.
“When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world and it is. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you.”
— Roger Federer
During his career—1,526 matches—Federer lost 45% of the points. And yet he still won 80% of his matches. By winning just over half his points, he became one of the greatest tennis players ever.
The mark of a champion isn’t your ability to win. The mark of a champion is in your ability to lose again and again. Each time displaying an ability to move on, be relentless, and grow.
World Class Athletes Lose With Grace
One thing elite athletes share is a tremendous amount of failure.
Federer lost 45% of his points.
Even the late Kobe Bryant—known for spectacular buzzer beaters—missed 75% of game winning shots he took.
In tennis, poker, basketball—and in life—losing stings. But it’s a reality.
Because losing is so common, world class athletes have an ability to bounce back from failure.
But that’s easier said than done. Failure can be emotionally crushing.
Loss Aversion Theory
In 1979, Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky co-published a paper in The Econometric Society.
Prospect Theory, the economic theory about utility that they developed eventually won Kahneman the Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002.
The theory states that:
Basically, losing hurts emotionally twice as much as winning feels good. A tennis player would have to win two points to feel as good as losing one point feels bad.
Life isn’t a zero sum game like tennis, basketball, or poker. But you will lose a lot in your lifetime. That’s why learning how to bounce back from failure is a great skill to have.
Keep Going Despite The Doubt You Feel
Psychologists Minjung Koo and Ayelet Fishbach found the best way to keep going when you experience doubts on the road to achieving a goal. It all depends on your commitment at that time.
When your commitment is wavering, and you feel like quitting, reflect on the progress you’ve already made. It’d be a waste to give up, and your confidence and commitment surge.2
When your commitment is strong, look forward to the hard work left to be done. This gap between where you are and what you’ve yet to accomplish is motivation to keep going.
Personally, I’ve been experiencing a number of setbacks in my career. Because my commitment is wavering, it’s a reminder to reflect on the progress I’ve made so far.
Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
Roger Federer’s advice to Dartmouth graduating class of 2024 is to become a master at overcoming hard moments.
“You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That is, to me, the sign of a champion. The best in the world are not the best because they win every point.
It’s because they know they’ll lose again and again, and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it, cry it out if you need to, and then force a smile. You move on, be relentless, adapt and grow.“
— Roger Federer
Easier said than done. Emotionally, it hurts twice as much to lose.
Next time you’re rejected from a job. Lose a big deal. Or face a setback that feels detrimental. Remember that world class athletes fail most of the time. They just have an extraordinary ability to bounce back.
—Grant Varner
Camilo, a reader brings up a good counterpoint. When you feel like quitting, ask yourself, “Should I pivot, persist, or quit?” If, upon reflection, you’re confident that you should pivot or quit, you should. When in doubt, you should persist. Thanks Camilo!
Thanks for this post, Grant. It is everything I wanted and needed today. My favorite quote: “You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That is, to me, the sign of a champion, the best in the world and not the best, because they win every point." I love your philosophy.