“Do You Ever Feel Like You Haven’t Accomplished Anything Big Yet?”
A guide to the pursuit of excellence, and a life well lived.
When I was 16 years old, I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything yet in life. I was a multi-sport athlete, who got some varsity playing time, and by all accounts had a pretty good life. I didn’t have a driver’s license yet, but that didn’t concern me. What bothered me was I felt I hadn’t done anything big yet.
At 16, this shouldn’t have been a problem—but for some reason it was for me.
Vision Quest
It was about this time that I watched Vision Quest, the 1985 coming-of-age film about a high school wrestler who also felt like he hadn’t accomplished anything yet either. The wrestler, a senior named Louden Swain, in the first act of the movie learns of the concept of a “Vision Quest”—a rite of passage for some Native American cultures wherein a young person goes out into the wilderness alone to find out who they really are.
This idea captures Louden, and he embarks on his own vision quest to do the unthinkable—drop three weight classes to wrestle against and beat Brian Shute, the toughest wrestler in the state.
Louden set out to do the unthinkable: Que the 80s training montage. He eats nothing but grilled chicken and raw spinach. Runs everywhere in a sweat suit. Passes out with a bloody nose several times during the movie. Drops three weight classes. Eventually… his moment to wrestle Shute comes.
He’s victorious!
Louden wins the match, the heart of his crush, and fired 16-year-old me up enough to deadlift a car.
The frame freezes on the epic celebration, and Louden monologues about what his vision quest meant to him.
“We’re born to live and then to die.
We’ve got to do it alone. Each in his own way.
I guess that’s why we’ve got to love the people who deserve it like there’s no tomorrow.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned. It’s that there may not be a tomorrow.”1 — Louden Swain
Louden’s right; you have to live your own way. You can go a long way emulating your role models, but that’ll only get you so far.
Eventually, you have to become fully you. There’s a lot of good you can do in life. What good thing are you going to do?
Your Life’s Purpose
As I got older, the message of Vision Quest stuck with me, but my struggles took on a different substance. My yearnings became centered around big questions about my life’s purpose.
After fighting a brief bout with depression in 2020, I stumbled upon Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.2 It completely shifted my mindset for the better and is a book I revist annually.
Frankl was a psychotherapist who survived the holocaust. While in the concentration camps, he provided therapy to fellow prisoners. After being released, Frankl published his theory of logotherapy, which asserts that a marker of good mental health is the tension a man feels between who he is today, and who he could one day become.
For me, it comes in waves. I feel dissatisfied with my life. I try many things to find my new calling: exercise, career, family, faith. The pursuit is satisfying, like I’m on a mission.
But then as I enter a new season of life, the goals change. And I’m back to figuring out a new path. My current calling is to somehow find harmony between all my life’s priorities.
Your life’s meaning is fluid, always changing with each season of life you enter. And it’s highly unique to you. Only able to be accomplished by you. There’s no one else in the world with the qualifications to fulfill your life’s purpose.
To Louden’s point at the end of Vision Quest: “We’ve got to do it alone. Each in his own way.”
Purpose By Elimination
I brought this manuscript to my wife at dinner, to which she correctly said, “Does it have to be so complicated? Why is it necessary to overthink your decisions so much?”
To put things simply, Matthew McConaughey, an actor in three of my top 10 favorite movies (Dazed and Confused (1993), Contact (1997), Interstellar (2014)), puts it this way:
“Knowing who you are is hard. Eliminate who you’re not first and you’ll find yourself where you need to be.”—Matthew McConaughey
In the same way Michelangelo starts with a slab of raw marble, chips away the excess until what he’s left is the great statue of David, so too are we. Once we figure out who we’re not, we’re left with who we’re meant to be.
Fast Forward To Now
Now, at 28 years old, I sometimes still feel like I haven’t accomplished anything in life. And yet I have so many blessings to be thankful for. So what’s my problem? The evidence would show me there’s no problem. I’m just feeling the healthy tension of finding out who I am and my purpose in life.
Do you also feel like there’s something left for you to accomplish in life? That’s a good sign. That means you’ve more to do in your lifetime.
Excellence is within anyone’s grasp—including my own. Do what’s in front of you to the best of your ability to be the best version of you possible.
— Grant Varner
Garner, H. (Director). (1985). Vision Quest. Warner Bros.
Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press, 2006.
I’ve heard it once said that “your life is your privileged place of encounter with God.” To flee your life to the ideal life then would also be to flee Gods presence.