For the first time in what feels like forever, the planets aligned, giving my wife and me enough overlapping PTO to frolic through Europe for 10 days. We’re pizza fiends, so Italy was the obvious destination.1 For ten days, we ate pizza, slurped pasta, and said “grazie” in an Italian accent holding our hands together like this 🤌.
Chicago ✈️ Italy
📍 Chicago, IL | September 3, 2026
The first leg of our adventure began with fiscal responsibility… at Costco. I raided the beef jerky aisle with enough travel snacks to feed a small army. Afterwards I celebrated with a $2 slice of Costco pizza because (1) I can. (2) The Costco executive membership card is the ultimate signal of wealth. (3) I wanted a standard unit of comparison for all the Italian pizza I’d soon be eating.
As an INTP Myers Briggs, I took full advantage of our zero-internet time to read deeply.2 I value the time between travel destinations because it’s a great excuse to deeply focus. For our 9-hour red eye flight, I alternated super sets of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight, Lord of the Rings, and AI research papers — AI as Normal Technology, The Hardware Lottery, and No Data Centers In My Backyard.
As for the mid-flight food, I’m in agreement with Seinfeld when he said, “What's the deal with airline food?" Travel tip #1: load up on Costco travel snacks before your trip.
Our Italy trip itinerary
Our trip had a packed schedule — starting with two nights in Rome. One of my work buddies recommended we eat pizza, drink wine, and repeat until we’re sick. I’m a beer guy, but pizza and I go together like peanut butter and jelly. My game plan for Rome is to find out if there’s a hard limit to the amount of pizza I can consume (spoiler alert: the limit does not exist).
Next we’ll do five nights on the 2nd largest island in the Mediterranean called Sardinia. I was secretly hoping we’d go to Lake Como to recreate the scene from Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. But alas, Sardinia won out. Sardinia will be a particularly unique leg of the trip because I’ll be driving a rental — if you’re reading this, that means I didn’t accidentally drive a Vespa into the Mediterranean.3
Finally we’ll finish the trip with indigestion and two nights in Venice. I’m not exactly sure what to expect from Venice, other than the opening scene from Pokémon Heroes.4
Philosophically, the goal of this trip: marriage maxing
I have a tendency to set a theme for every trip I embark on. When I backpacked Europe when I was 22, I’d just read The Culture Map, so my goal was to learn about the culture of other countries, and other global citizens’ perspectives on America.5
The theme of this trip is maxing out on memorable experiences during this season of marriage.6 I’m 29, without any kids yet. My life, right now, is as simple as it’ll ever be for the next 20+ years. Therefore, my goal is to create as many memory dividends as possible. Flying across the world to eat pizza is the perfect memory dividend.
Without further ado, onto Rome!
Rome, Italy
📍 Rome, Italy | September 4-6, 2026
Upon arrival we make a beeline to our hostel, which unbeknownst to us, happened to be smack in the middle of a Roman Arab community. The pizza-to-shawarma ratio was dangerously low, so we immediately ventured beyond the neighborhood of our hostel in search for pizza.
Pizza, pizza, pizza
Before getting access to our private hostel room, we made a pit stop at Bar Trattoria Pizzeria on our way to Colosseum. There was no specific reason why we chose this particular spot, other than the fact that we were starving, and the sign outside said “pizza”… sold!
The service was astoundingly good, and the Margherita pizza was fire. The husband tax rate is high in Italy, so my wife gave me half her sausage pizza… score! I’d also heard good things about affogato on the internet, so I gave it a shot at Trattoria, and it knocked my socks off.
We tried several pizza places during our trip: Boono in Vatican City (tourist trap), Pizza in Trevi (really good salmon tartare and bread), and Appetito Pizza (solid), and Osteria Da Samu (the spicy salami pizza and burrata appetizer was fire). I learned that in Italy, my pizza limit does not exist.
Hostel living
We stayed in a private 1-bedroom with a king bed at a hostel called Generator Rome. It essentially felt like a hotel room, with a backpacker vibe in the lobby. At €180/night, it was better value than similar hotels going for €300/night in the area.
Stay in a hostel if you’re in your 20’s/30’s visiting a major city like Rome — and if you’re married, find one with a private suite on Hostel World.7 If you’re looking for a deal, this is the way to go! Plus it’s within walking distance of a lot of the action in Rome.
The Colosseum was a brisk 20-minute walk away. The Colosseum itself reminded me a lot of Ohio Stadium, home of the Ohio State Buckeyes.8 It was lively at night and felt like 4th of July without the fireworks. People were gathered around violinists playing in the streets and the Colosseum’s exterior donned statues of Greek gods as if they were Heisman winning football players.
When exploring Rome in the summer I’d recommend starting as early as possible to beat the heat. Hide away from the sun during peak heat before heading out again in the evening to see more.
We enjoyed our walk through Spagna. In the evening there’s a lot of activity and the sunset views were immaculate from the top of the stairs near Trinità dei Monti, a Catholic Church overlooking the Fontana della Barcaccia and Piazza di Spagna below. During our walk there we got some ice cream from The Gelatist, and it was insane — by far, best gelato we had in Rome.
Planned sight seeing of the Sistine Chapel
By far the coolest thing we did was take a guided tour of The Vatican museum, Saint Peter’s Basilica, and the Sistine Chapel. It was the only tour we had planned. I was skeptical at first, but it turned out to be a lot of fun. Next time I’m back in Rome, I’ll go back to the Vatican, but will buy the €8 audio recorded tour rather than the €140 tour with an actual tour guide.
I’ve used images from the Sistine Chapel in previous blog posts like Descent from Mount Sinai as part of the cover photo for Emergent Misalignment in LLMs. I’ve seen pictures from the Sistine Chapel everywhere — it’s so iconic in pop culture — you’ve probably seen The Creation of Adam.9 What I didn’t realize is that, despite how iconic this one image is, it’s just one piece of a much larger visual story covering the chapel.
The grandeur of the chapel can obscure the ornate details that make it so iconic. They can be even harder to pick up on while looking at them on the internet. Before seeing the Last Supper, I could visually describe the details of the painting: it’s a long table with Jesus and his twelve apostles. But what I didn’t realize is the amount of detail in the painting. Behind Jesus and the apostles are three windows — each depicting a different scene of the Passion of Christ.
The iconic Sistine Chapel Ceiling was commissioned from Michelangelo by Pope Julius II. Our tour guide told us that Michelangelo used a small brush size, even though the ceiling was viewed from far away, suggesting that he was painting for himself and to honor God. I love that perspective. We should do more things for no other reason than to honor God.
Make time for unstructured wandering
While wandering around in the general direction of the Colosseum, we stumbled upon the Basilica Silvestro. The serendipity of the moment put me into the shoes of the monks who might’ve prayed in the underground chambers in 500 A.D.
It made me wonder, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have more architecture like this in America?” — most of the minimalist architecture that dominates America today doesn’t open many impromptu encounters with God.
The great American experiment is still young, but some of our architecture still draws inspiration from Rome.10 Football is the gladiator sport of today. Fans pack the stands to root on their favorite team like the gladiatorial games.
When we finally did arrive at the Colosseum, I felt like I teleported right back to Ohio Stadium in Columbus.
After doing some sleuthing I learned that the architect of Ohio Stadium was inspired by the Colosseum and the Pantheon. Our architecture may not be old, but you can find Ancient Rome’s DNA imprinted across America if you pay close enough attention.
“Smith studied the Colosseum and Pantheon in Rome. The former inspired the stadium’s arches. The latter’s domes were the model for the half-dome design of the rotunda.”
My next travel tip is that for a big city like Rome, unstructured exploration is the ideal way to spend your time. Rolf Potts explains how in Vagabonding:
“If in doubt about what to do in a place, just start walking through your new environment. Walk until your day becomes interesting — even if it means wandering out of town and strolling the countryside. Eventually you’ll see a scene or meet a person that makes your walk worthwhile.”
The best spots we found were from a vague recommendation from our hostel host, then heading out in the direction with an openness for whatever came our way. Next time I’m in Rome, I’ll reserve more time for unstructured wandering.
📍 Grant’s Rome recs
Complete list of Rome recs linked via Google Maps in case you make the trip yourself.
Sistine Chapel. ‘Nuff said because it speaks for itself.
Osteria Da Samu. Short walk from the Colosseum. Get the Diavola (spicy salami) pizza, lasagna, and bruschetta al pomodoro appetizer — and sprinkle some table salt on it.
The Gelatist. Best gelato we had in Rome.
Bar Trattoria Pizzeria. The sausage pizza and affogato go crazy. Insane hospitality — think Italian grandma quality hospitality.
Download the Nasoni di Roma iPhone app. Rome has random fresh water fountains throughout the city. This app makes it easy to know where they’re located.
Sardinia, Italy
📍 Arbatax, Sardinia, Italy | September 6-10, 2026
Sardinia is an island southwest of Rome in the Tyrrhenian Sea, with picturesque beaches straight out of Super Mario Sunshine. Our first destination on the island was Arbatax. We were pumped because it wasn’t much of a tourist city, so we got the chance to really immerse ourselves into Italian beach living.
On multiple occasions, I was blessed “gesundheit” by German natives who recognized me as one of their own countrymen, even though I don’t think Germans come in American size anymore.
We checked out the major sites of Arbatax, then made a pit stop at an Italian grocery store now that our Costco beef stick supply was dwindling.11
Italian grocery food haul!
We love visiting grocery stores during international travel to get a taste of everyday food in that country.
Eurospin was the closest major grocery store, and it had the familiar look-and-feel to Aldi. We spent about €35 on a hearty haul of snacks, but these were our three favorites.
Raffinata Patatina Gusto Tartufo, or, translated into American-speak — truffle flavored potato chips.
These were my favorite snack by a long shot and reminded me of the blue cheese potato chips at Cap City Diner back home in Columbus. I’m not wearing socks in the next photo because these chips knocked them off.
Dolciando Choco Biscuits, or for my fellow ‘Mericans — cocoa-cream filled chocolate cookies.
At first these taste dry as chalk — a bit like Egyptian kahk, if you’ve ever tried that. And then 💥WHAM!💥 You get hit with a right hand hook of chocolate sauce to the face. This would go down nicely with an espresso macchiato.
Last but not least, Partenope Limoncello, or for my fellow Red White n’ Blue Patriots — lemon liqueur.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are God-given rights in America. In Italy, sparkling water is a God-given right. We took advantage of this unalienable right by mixing sparkling water with Limoncello to achieve a cool European buzz. Imagine Mike’s hard lemonade, if Mike’s name was Michelangelo.
Trouble in paradise
You can’t ever lose on a trip. If it goes well that’s awesome. But if it doesn’t go well you have a great story to tell.
Before heading to the Arbatax beach on our first full day in Sardinia, I lathered up with hair conditioner rather than sunscreen. 0/10; would not recommend this strategy to beat the heat.
I also drank the tap water at our resort and subsequently had a rough couple of days. Causation unconfirmed, but bottled water became my best friend.
Finally, in the final 10-minutes of our 2-hour drive back to Olbia from Arbatax, our tire popped. Physically, we were OK, but our spirits weren’t. Our wallets were spared too, because our rental car insurance covered the tow truck, taxi, and spare rental. Good reminder to get rental car insurance.
Now onto Porto Cervo!
📍 Porto Cervo, Sardinia, Italy | September 10-11, 2026
My ideal vacation is a constant cycle of physical exertion and recovery. Must be an old habit from my college football days at Brown. Clocking 20,000 steps daily in Rome scratched that itch, but frying in the Arbatax sun didn’t.
My wife loves to beach and I love to hike. And because of the popped tire snafu delaying our arrival, we had one shot to beach and hike — so we met in the middle.
Mount Zoppu and Calla delle Mele
Mount Zoppu trail was the perfect destination for my wife’s passion for the beach and my passion for physically wrecking my body on vacation. It’s a 4-mile round trip hike with several hidden beaches, one of which — Cala delle Mele — was a quick 10 minutes from the trailhead, which my wife enjoyed while I hiked.
The first destination of the trail led me to a shrine of Saint Mary overlooking the water. I sat and journaled for a while before praying a Hail Mary for strength.
As I climbed higher, the ‘official’ markers that illuminated the path forward became less frequent. Instead, small stacks of rock formations marked the path forward. As a light drizzle of rain began, I felt a pang of fear that the rest of the hike would become too dangerous for me to complete alone.
I looked over to a ledge above what looked like a 30 meter drop straight into the rocky ocean below. By this point, I’d climbed high enough that it’d likely be harder to maneuver back down. I thought of being beside my wife, then continued on.
At this point in the hike, I felt a mental alarm going off in my head, signaling the severity of making it back to my wife safely and without injury. An acute awareness of danger is a privilege and burden of being responsible for someone else. I imagine it only gets louder when you have kids.12
Thankfully I did manage to summit Mount Zoppu. Upon reaching the summit, the views were breathtaking. But all I wanted to do was sit beside my wife. The saying is true: distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder. I began my descent down Mount Zoppu summit to celebrate with her by the beach.
When I finally made it back to Cala delle Mele beach we relaxed together in the until driving back to European McDonald’s to try some of Italy’s unique menu items. Our favorites were the Big Tasty and Biscoff McFlurry.
Now onto Venice!
📍 Grant’s Sardinia recs
Complete list of Sardinia recs linked via Google Maps in case you make the trip yourself.
Mount Zoppu hike (AllTrails hike linked here). This hike is a lot of fun if you’re up for a challenge. Once complete, highly recommend taking a dip in Cala delle Mele beach.
Italian McDonald’s. The double big tasty and biscoff McFlurry (with double biscoff) was an insanely good play after the Mount Zoppu hike.
Venice, Italy
📍 Venice, Italy | September 11-12, 2026
If Sardinia was the Piña Colada Song, then Venice was Ballroom Blitz. Because Venice was our final stop, we ended our trip with a 24-hour Venice blitz before flying back to Chicago.
Anda Hostel
Our hostel was the most insane hostel I’ve ever been to. It was an 8-floor behemoth, with a cafe, bar, massive open space to hang out, and the private bedroom was insane, and one of the best parts.
The location was supreme. It was right across from train station, where €1.50 and a 10-minute train ride would get you across and into Venice. Not to mention, the area surrounding Anda Hostel had a backpacker feel, with a lot of cafes nearby with digital nomads and students working on their laptops during the day. At night, the hostel became lively for parties.
Our Venice blitz
Our actual day in Venice started with cappuccinos at the hostel cafe, pizza (of course), and a train into Venice. Upon arrival, we wandered the streets for a few hours. Can confirm: Venice did feel like I was in the city of Alto Mare from Pokemon Heroes.
Towards the end of our wandering about the city, we stumbled upon the Monument to Victor Emmanuel II, which was by far, the most badass statue I saw in Italy. It was sculpted by Roman artist Ettore Ferrari, and inaugurated in May 1887, to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the death of Vittorio Emanuele II, the first king of a unified Italy. The Lion stomping on the book is badass, too.
I did some sleuthing later and found out that the lion’s paw is on the official electoral results of the 1866 election that sealed region’s exit from the Austrian Empire to join the unified Kingdom of Italy.
Venice food
My understanding is that Venice wouldn’t be on Rome’s level of quality for food… but it wouldn’t be a trip without eating enough pizza to make Paul Blart blush.
Our first stop was to Enjoy Bistro, a cafe down the block from our cafe. Once again, we picked this spot because it nearby. While we ate pizza, a raucous group of British backpackers guys in their early 20s were scheming up a game plan to procure a solar powered charger so they didn’t have to share the same iPhone charger. I wasn’t entirely sure how that’d solve their problem, but I didn’t ask questions.
After taking the train across the Venetian Lagoon, we wandered around a bit to work up an appetite for apertivo (late evening appetizers). The dish of the night was cicchetti, a classic Venetian dish of bread topped with fish. Because my wife and I split it, this was one of those meals that left me thinking, “That’s it?”
In Italy when you have apertivo (late evening appetizers) you’re apparently not also supposed to have dinner. We didn’t get that memo. But to be fair, even if I did, I’d still get dinner. Acquia e Mais, a street food spot that had fried fish caught my eye. So did La Maison de la crepe for their tiramisu that changed my life.
Heading back home
By this point, the final leg of our trip was the flight through Germany into Chicago. By this point, I was desperately missing Costco, free water, and not freedom from a bidet in my bathroom.
The excitement didn’t end after Venice though. On our international flight from Germany to Chicago, a young man was vaping next to my wife and I, only to get absolutely scolded by a German flight attendant. Don’t smoke on planes, kids.
📍 Grant’s Venice recs
Complete list of Venice recs linked via Google Maps in case you make a trip.
Anda Venice hostel. Sounds crazy to even type this, but our hostel, in my opinion, was the star of our Venice trip. It was massive, had a lot of clean common space, and the 1-bed private suites were better than any hotel we stayed at. It’s also right across from the train station for a quick 10-minute ride into Venice for €1.50, and a 5-min walk from a €15 bus to the airport. I’d try to find it on the HostelWorld app if you ever go to Venice.
St. Mark’s Basilica. Because we were doing a 24-hour Venice blitz, we didn’t take a tour, but judging by the outside, I wish we had.
La maison de la crêpe (Gelateria & Crêpes shop). We hadn’t gotten tiramisu the entire trip. We finally did at this spot in Venice, and I’m glad we did — straight fire.
Monument to Victor Emmanuel II. The most badass statue I saw in Italy.
Acqua e Mais. Street food seafood. I got the mixed seafood basket, and the shrimp and calamari were solid. Ask for extra lemon.
This was the most time my wife and I were able to take time off together in the last two years. I’ve documented one trip before — a boys bachelor party in Put-In-Bay. Past trips can become a blur. Hopefully by writing down the highlights I can revisit years from now to reminisce about all the memory dividends I’ve accumulated.
As for Italy, I’ll remember getting cooked by the Sardinian sun, blowing a tire outside Olbia, and the grueling Mount Zoppu hike followed by the most electric Big Tasty from Italian McDonald’s.
As always… thanks for reading!
— Grant Varner
I’m not gonna say this is definitively the best Italy travel itinerary. But it’s definitely up there.
I blame internet strangers who said to arrive at the airport three hours early for international flights! As they say:
“If you’re not missing at least 10% of your flights, you’re spending too much time at the airport.”
Editor’s Note: Success! Made it through with a popped tire, but no crashes into the Mediterranean.
All my expectations for this trip are based on pizza I’ve seen online and movies that’ve taken place in Italy.
Two Australian backpackers told me that they admired how well Americans collectively got after it on holidays. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, 4th of July, or Halloween, each is a moment shared across the entire nation every year.
A secondary, but still important goal of this trip is beating stress induced burnout. Six years ago, while camping at Big Bend National Park, I came to the realized that periodic rest is necessary to avoid burnout. Since joining Salesforce, these last few months have been both a grind and a ton of fun. Now’s the time to unplug.
Make sure to book in advance if you’re trying to book a private room. Just keep in mind that some less populous cities don’t have hostels. Sardinia didn’t.
I did some sleuthing and it turns out that the architect of Ohio Stadium was inspired by the Colosseum and the Pantheon.
“Smith studied the Colosseum and Pantheon in Rome. The former inspired the stadium’s arches. The latter’s domes were the model for the half-dome design of the rotunda.”
Photography technically isn’t allowed in the Sistine Chapel because Nippon, a Japanese TV network paid $4 million to restore the chapel in exchange for exclusive media distribution rights. After the restoration project was completed the “no photography” rule was never reversed.
There are many good reasons why we should make a return to traditional architecture. For one, most people prefer traditional architecture.
If you’re in Italy, or any foreign country, definitely recommend hitting up a local grocery store. Here’s my advice when doing so:
Go to a national grocery store. They’ll have the most variety of name brand items so that you can get a sense for what the locals eat.
If you’re looking for something specific, find a photo of that thing on your phone, in that country’s native language. For example, if you’re looking for sunscreen, Google ‘Italian sun screen’, and show a worker. They’ll know what you’re looking for, and point you in the right direction. Much easier than fumbling with Google Translate. Unless you’re trying to learn to speak the native language, in which case you should try speaking the native language for practice.
Use ChatGPT. For example, my wife was looking for a specific wine, so I took a photo of the entire wine shelf, and asked, “I’m looking for a red wine from Sicily. Our price range is €15. Which wine should I get?”
Maybe there’s something hardwired into husbands that gives them supernatural judgement to be decisive about risk in ways that are advantageous in the job market, which unmarried men and women don’t have?
Incredible work on an incredible trip! One of the things I miss most about living in Europe was being able to carb-maxx without feeling drugged and tired afterwards.
Fascinated by your wage gap graph at the end there, I wonder if theres any confounding factors and what those could be.
Omg! This is beautiful & makes me miss Italy